6th grade was a rough year for me. On top of many things, it was the first time I was called fat!
I had a friend talking about how she weighed 97 pounds. Just as luck would have it, so did I. Of course, I thought it was cool that we both weighed the same. I naturally chimed in saying “me too!”
I will never forget the gut punch that came over me when my “friend” told me that her 97 pounds is “all muscle, and your’s is all fat.” This was the beginning of my frustration with my body and resentment with why I could not look like everyone else.
By the way...I did not realize that I was “fat” back then, but this comment helped set the wheels in motion to my love/hate relationship with food and my body.
Naturally this was not the only change with my body at that time, I also joined the womanhood so to speak. Thus began the slowly evolving presence of my PCOS diagnosis.
I carried this frustration and resentment for my body with me for many years. (I still have moments of it to this day if we are being honest). However it was this frustration that led me to seeking help.
Being able to put a name to why I was heavier than most of my peers was helpful for a while. I did what I was told for many years. Take the pills, change to whole wheat, and try to lose some of that weight.
This game plan was still leading me down the frustration alley. I knew there was more to this PCOS than just take these pills and losing some weight. Though my old physician was on to something...making food changes, though I learned later that this specific change needed to be something more.
While you may believe we are going to dive into food and PCOS...I am here to talk more about resentment and frustration. They can be either a sword we continue to use on ourselves...trying to force ourselves into a box and make it work or we have an opportunity to listen to it and create a path towards feeling more satisfied in life.
You have got to sit with it...the frustration and resentment. I talk more about what that looks like here:
When we do those things in the video, you will begin to notice doors opening. The people, the resources, the opportunities, they begin to show up.
Does this sound crazy? Maybe...maybe not. What I do know is that it does work!
Instead of being mad that I cannot eat like my peers, I found a way to eat that both serves me and that I enjoy. Instead of wishing I could wear that outfit, I have found a style that makes me feel comfortable and is fun. Instead of being upset about my body figure, I have found ways to see it as an asset.
Now this is just the beginning. We have more to this journey...click on this next blog to keep see how this journey works out in our favor.
If you have decided to utilize your frustration and resentment with food to your greater good, the Thriving with PCOS community is a great resource for you, if you so choose. We are walking through the journey I took in discovering the specific changes that were necessary for me to begin to see my way past food and body frustration and resentment.
Wishing you peace in your frustration and resentment,