Healthy Level Of Disgust

Healthy Level Of Disgust
Looking down at the scale this morning, I was disgusted. “How have I put on that much weight since the beginning of summer?” I thought to myself. I knew that my clothes felt tighter but I did not think that I had gained that much weight! I mean, I had not weighed that since I was pregnant with our son.

I tried to shake it off and moved on with my morning routine of taking my son to school and getting my morning cardio in. It just so happened to be a run. It was my best one in a while, which may have something to do with the number I saw on my scale this morning. However, my disgust went to a different level later that morning during yoga. I made the mistake of taking a video clip for reel (see the reel here). Now the camera angle was not the best, but dang…is my belly really that big?! “Holy buckets,” I thought. I believed I was just struggling with being bloated and inflamed, but it is worse than I thought.

Now there are two choices anyone has at this point…throw in the towel and take a nosedive or use this as fuel. 

I chose this morning to use it as fuel. I drew the line in the sand and I am saying enough is enough. This is what is referred to as a healthy level of disgust.

While I have struggled with staying on track with my health and wellness goals since going back to work after the  “great stay at home'' period, I have also struggled to have a real reason to feel like I need to stay on track for myself. After today, it will be hard to get this image out of my mind.

What this is not, is body shaming. I know there are other women who would like to be in the place that I am with my weight. I am fine with having big legs (always have had them, they will not go away either). I am fine with being above the weight that is “ideal” for my height. What I am not okay with is that I know the risks that come with my belly as it is today and where my weight is right now. My background is in sports medicine after all, so I know if I keep going the way I am going, we will need better health insurance.

What I have realized is that I am great with boundaries in many areas of my life, but when it comes to food, I need to make better ones. Committing staying focused more on the 70% of what will help me on this health journey. I have a pretty good streak on the 20% and 10%.

I also realize that what I lack is accountability.

If you relate to any of this blog today and you are looking for a system that focuses on macro based eating, I invite you to look into Body By Design. I am looking to build a community of 7 to support each other using this system. We will all begin on October 3rd, 2022 and continue for 7 weeks.

Whether this is for you or you have other plans for your health, I hope that you find the healthy level of disgust that will help you finally draw your line in the sand.

Terra

Epic Food Battle

Epic Food Battle

Losing the food battle once again...it can feel defeating! I feel you. 


You work so hard to eat the right things. You finally make a little headway even and then BAM...it hits you like a freight train and the next thing you know, you are a pint of ice cream in and a whole bag of pizza rolls deep!


What in the heck did I just do? The shame takes over and you hide all of the evidence. 


You continue to eat dinner with your family just so they do not know. Despite the fact that you are not hungry. You cannot let them know what you have done today.


You tell yourself, you will make up for it tomorrow. Yep that is it. I will restrict myself. I will not eat or I will really cut back on how much I eat to balance this out. Oh and I will workout twice tomorrow. 


Yikes!!


Cravings can be challenging. Especially in this food-on-demand and high stressed world we live in today. 


Once upon a time, food was meant to nourish us. It is also meant to be enjoyable. Otherwise, we would all starve. 


Now many of us use it as a weapon or a way to numb ourselves...numb sounds cold does it not?! 


Many of us struggle to control these cravings as we rarely understand why we go so crazy for the food we crave.


For me, I had to do some digging. I was “hungry” to control these cravings that were out of my control. As someone who likes to be in control of myself, it became imperative that I figured this out!


Here is what I learned...there are likely a few pieces that bring us to binge. However, working on them one piece at a time is very important to a successful outcome. 


There is a chemical and an emotional need behind most if not all binges. 


Now, I am not a doctor or a dietitian/nutritionist...I am someone who through many rabbit holes and research deep dives, found tools that have been successful to me.


I started with an elimination protocol that would not only help me with a condition called PCOS, but would also help me work through the foods I was “addicted” to.


Once I cleansed my system of foods that I learned no longer served me, I was able to see...okay actually notice...more clearly what foods I was craving. I was able to pinpoint the nourishment that my body was actually signalling for. 


Now that I knew that my body was satisfied, with the right food and supplementation in place, I was able to see the last piece to my puzzle. 


Emotional eating is sneaky! Most of the time we do it blind. 


I am not even sure where I picked up this habit. However I learned it all the same. 


If I was happy about something...food was the celebration of choice. If I had a bad day at work, it was time for a meal out with a cold one. This became routine for me whether I was surrounded by people or home alone.


Now after about 2 years worth of work to figure this all out on my own, I finally have a handle on this situation. The cycle is over!


No more hiding, no more blaming, and no more shaming myself! 


It is wonderful to have not only control again of my eating, but so much more. My weight is more manageable, my lab work has improved, and confidence...that right there just feels so damn good!


My hope is that if you are reading this and thinking that this sounds a lot like you too, that you will reach out for help. 


I believe that we all go through these moments in our life so that we are able to toss out the lifesaver to others to pull them to shore. 


This is me, casting that line out to you…


Terra


Also...I have a group where I talk about these things and so much more at Thriving With PCOS. Come find the support you deserve!