Looking down at the scale this morning, I was disgusted. “How have I put on that much weight since the beginning of summer?” I thought to myself. I knew that my clothes felt tighter but I did not think that I had gained that much weight! I mean, I had not weighed that since I was pregnant with our son.
I tried to shake it off and moved on with my morning routine of taking my son to school and getting my morning cardio in. It just so happened to be a run. It was my best one in a while, which may have something to do with the number I saw on my scale this morning. However, my disgust went to a different level later that morning during yoga. I made the mistake of taking a video clip for reel (see the reel here). Now the camera angle was not the best, but dang…is my belly really that big?! “Holy buckets,” I thought. I believed I was just struggling with being bloated and inflamed, but it is worse than I thought.
Now there are two choices anyone has at this point…throw in the towel and take a nosedive or use this as fuel.
I chose this morning to use it as fuel. I drew the line in the sand and I am saying enough is enough. This is what is referred to as a healthy level of disgust.
While I have struggled with staying on track with my health and wellness goals since going back to work after the “great stay at home'' period, I have also struggled to have a real reason to feel like I need to stay on track for myself. After today, it will be hard to get this image out of my mind.
What this is not, is body shaming. I know there are other women who would like to be in the place that I am with my weight. I am fine with having big legs (always have had them, they will not go away either). I am fine with being above the weight that is “ideal” for my height. What I am not okay with is that I know the risks that come with my belly as it is today and where my weight is right now. My background is in sports medicine after all, so I know if I keep going the way I am going, we will need better health insurance.
What I have realized is that I am great with boundaries in many areas of my life, but when it comes to food, I need to make better ones. Committing staying focused more on the 70% of what will help me on this health journey. I have a pretty good streak on the 20% and 10%.
I also realize that what I lack is accountability.
If you relate to any of this blog today and you are looking for a system that focuses on macro based eating, I invite you to look into Body By Design. I am looking to build a community of 7 to support each other using this system. We will all begin on October 3rd, 2022 and continue for 7 weeks.
Whether this is for you or you have other plans for your health, I hope that you find the healthy level of disgust that will help you finally draw your line in the sand.